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Online Dating – How to go offline

By: Ian Love

After a few rounds of witty banter and some disclosure of vital stats, it's time to take a budding relationship into real-time, so let’s see some great online dating tips for Darwin singles.

One of you should now suggest a phone conversation. Letting the "pursued," or the person who was first approached, initiate this step lends this dance of romance a nice symmetry. The pursuer asked her mark to dance; by offering or asking for digits, the pursued accepts and leads the pursuer to the floor. Well, assume that's the case for this scenario and these are our dating tips for Darwin singles.

• In an e-mail to the pursuer (hereafter known as "Amy"), the pursued ("Bill") indicates interest in taking the next step. This might go something like: "I've really enjoyed e-mailing with you this week. Want to talk on the phone sometime?"

• If Amy replies in the negative, Bill should consider moving on. Not wanting to talk on the telephone could indicate an antisocial personality and/or a fear of commitment.

• If Amy's response is positive, she can offer a phone number and suggest a good time to call. (Amy should give Bill her cell phone number, in case Bill's a potential stalker.) If Amy says yes, but doesn't offer contact info, Bill can ask for her number. Always suggest a good time to call, so that you're not interrupted during something important, like your favorite TV show.

Here is how a bad phone call might go (with some analysis in italics):

Bill: Hello, Amy?

Amy: Hi, yes, is this Bill?

(Critique: Amy's effort to name the caller before he identifies himself is a nice way to immediately put him at ease.)

Bill: Yes, this is Bill. . . . Hmm, you don't sound at all like how I thought you'd sound.

Amy: Oh, well, that is funny. So, what were you up to today?

(Critique: Good for Amy for smoothly maneuvering past the rough spot caused by Bill's inappropriate comment and guiding the conversation in a new direction. Amy is a cool customer.)

Bill: Oh, you know, e-mailing a bunch. This online dating thing is like a full-time job!

• If the phone call proceeds more smoothly than the one above, and if both parties are generally enjoying the conversation—and there are only a few awkward silences— the next step is an in-person meeting. Arrange a coffee or drink date: a short, noncommittal meeting that's easy to end. In other words, you're booking a mutual audition for a real first date.
There comes a time in all online daters' lives when they arrive at a coffee shop go-see and are faced with someone who is definitely not the person they thought they were talking to— and who hasn't been that person for ten years. What do you do when greeted with someone who's twenty pounds heavier and ten years older? Take a look at the following dating tips for Darwin singles.

• Squint a little at your date to express confusion. "Brad?" you might say, inquisitively, as if you're in a dark room and can hardly see a thing. "Is that you?" This unsure greeting will set him up for your eventual quick exit.

• Engage him in conversation. You like him enough to have forged some minor connection already, so you may as well relax and enjoy your beverage.

• Keep the chit-chat neutral and impersonal: Talk about work, the weather, the coffee shop. Don't flirt. You don't want to give him the false impression that you're interested in letting him into your life.

• As soon as you see coffee grounds, make a speedy exit. Lay some cash on the table (you don't want him to feel as if you owe him anything), stand up, and stick out your hand for a brisk handshake.

• To quash any lingering hope that you might be interested in a second date, say, "Best of luck to you. I hope you find everything you're looking for," and vamoose.

If you've only been on the go-see/audition, it's fine to let the other person down via e-mail. E-mail is the vehicle by which this relationship began, so why not send that person off using the same mode of communication? Since you hardly know each other, there isn't enough fodder for discussion to merit a phone call, anyway. Here are our dating tips for Darwin singles for the e-mail send-off.

• Send the e-mail no later than the day after the go-see.

• Write something short and to-the-point, but include something personal so it's clear you didn't lift a form letter from your templates folder. Here's a sample: "Dan, it was good to meet yon in person yesterday. As much as you impressed me with your story about winning the Australian Spelling Bee Championship at age eight (how very cool!), I don't think we have enough in common for this to be a match. (For one thing, I'm a horrible speller.) But it was fun meeting you, and I wish you all the best. "

• After a second date, you can still get away with an e-mail—unless there was a kiss or any contact beyond a handshake or hug.

• A phone call is required after the third date.

Article Source: http://www.articlekingpro.com

Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian online dating service Slinky - the free dating site for men and women looking for great friends and genuine relationships.

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